Monday, July 6, 2009

what's gonna be in my blog you ask?

So I've been thinking about what I want this blog to be. I decided I want it to be a place where I can write what I've been up to and how I feel. A diary if you will. Only I can't write everything I would in a diary because people might read it and let's face it, you don't write 100% readable material in diaries, otherwise they would be public.

One thing I want to write about it my health. Lame-o I know. I want to feel like I have an outlet for the frustrations I go through and I think this might be a cure for some of those frustrations. I still don't really understand the blogging world or know who all have blogs but none the less, it will help me get stuff of my chest. I know some people who are close to me know a little about what I go through (nothing life threatening, slow that thought train down), but I think most people don't really know because I don't like to talk about it. But there's something about talking to a computer that seems a whole lot easier.

I think I'm afraid that if I talk about having any sort of health problems people will react one of 2 ways. #1. They will feel sorry for me and ask me all the time how I am doing. As nice as feeling like someone cares is, its also awkward and makes me feel "not normal." I am a perfectionist and I think for that reason it is almost impossible to get me to say anything other than "fine" when asked "how are you?" #2. Compassion fatigue. Did you know there was such a thing? Its under the word compassion in the dictionary. It literally means you get worn out of caring because you are exposed to something too much. I feel this way towards someone in my life. That is NOT how I want others to feel. Who knows, maybe someone will read this that is going through something similar and not feel so alone in the world.

On a lighter note, I also want to write about Percy's adventures (my fearless chihuahua) and life as an air force wife and what's going on in my Christian walk. Here goes nothin...

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