BUGS, you BUG me!

So here's a little story for you.

I open my car door to leave for the grocery store. A bug gets in first. It was like I was opening the door for him. I have never seen this kind of bug before but it was FAST. He flew in, landed in the dashboard and then ran up the dashboard and parked it where he was in the crack/corner where the dash meets the windshield. There was no way I was going to get to him there.

I leave fingers crossed, hoping that he will just stay where he is.

I'm driving along mointoring the bug, so far so good. He is staying in one place.

I get through the gate on base and the bug deceides it's time to change seats. He runs across the dashboard, driver's side no less and straight for me. I had just past the gate so my military ID is still in hand and I trying my hardest to smash the bug with my ID card. I missed and he jumped from the dash down onto my pants. All the while I am DRIVING. So then I am trying to watch the road and smash the bug on my pants. *khakis-probably will leave a stain....who cares! Die bug!* Then he went under my leg and disappeared out of sight. There is no where to turn off the road and I have to just keep driving. We stop at a light and I frantically move my hands around, slapping my own back and wiping under my legs. I can't find the bug and it's worse than knowing where the bug is and watching it.

Finally I pull over and into the bank parking lot. Jump out like a maniac or like someone with a bee in her car, have a mild panic attack and search high and low for that darn bug never to find him or his remains. I bet he's still there. Looks like Justin is going to be doing some cleaning the car out before I get back in.

Does anybody else have the heebidee jeebidees??

P.S. Dear person who designed the base streets. All your "No left turn" signs REALLY piss me off. Especially when I had to pull over for a bug and had to get back on the road driving the WRONG direction for no good reason at all.

Test Results....never fun. Ever.

Ever have to wait on results from a test? Aren't the worst waits when its for something medical? I swear the hspoitals get the results back the same day you are there but they just dilly dally around and tell you whenever they think of it. I actually had to call the hospital and say, "um hello?! I was supposed to hear from you guys last week, now its THIS week." Do they call me back right away? No....they say 1-3 business days and TAKE all 3 to do it. Seems like if they are already late in calling they should be required to call you right then. I hate hospitals. I hate doctors and I HATE HATE HATE students in the lab. Why should a student get to practice on me with a needle? Justin has the guts to say he refuses to let a student prick him but not me. I just take it and suffer the consequences.
So...needless to say 3 whole weeks after I was told 1-2 days for my results I finally got them this morning. I had an ultra sound done because I was having really bad pains in my lower abdomen and they lasted 2 weeks. I have had one done before and they found a cyst in my left ovary. Neat. I had a 2nd to check up on it and it was smaller and now it is gone. Yay!

Hold the applause. Now I have a NEW one in my right ovary and not only that I have a fibroid in my utterus. Oh happy day. A fibroid is a tumor. Usually benign. They are known to cause heavy periods, frequent urination, lower stomach pain, enlargement of the lower abdomen, pregnancy problems especially during birth and potentially infertility but its rare. AND some other stuff....the lists are always ridiculously long and not worth repeating. I think they have to include anything anyone ever said was a symptom. I think someone could say "I can't stop hiccuping and it started when I got a fibroid," and then it has to appear on the symptoms list. *NO...hiccups wasn't on there.*

News like this is depressing. Especially because Justin and I have been trying to have a baby for a few years now. When you have never been prego before and you get wierd symptoms in your lower stomach your mind starts racing and you act like a crazy person until its soon enough to take a pregnancy test. You have usually taken one too soon despite the warnings that its not effective but you just can't help it. I knew when I went to the doctor I wasn't pregnant. That's like the first thing they check even if I come in with a hurt toe. Ok...not really but it seems like it. But to get news that has to do with your "baby parts" and its not "your pregnant" is never fun to hear.

I'm 27 and I know I have "TONS OF TIME" to have a baby but its is so hard watching all your friend's families grow and NOT KNOW if yours ever will. I have stopped saying "If we ever have a baby" and now say "when we have a baby, cause we can always adopt." But still...my attitude in general sucks as of late and I am working on it. If people could stop asking if I am prego or when I am due that would sure help. If people could stop asking me "so, when are you guys gonna have a kid?" like its totally an option to choose when you get pregnant, that would also help. I don't think I will ever get over the extra cheesyness some moms dish out into the world. When their screen names are "mommysavesbig" "Carsonsmommy" and "soproudtobeamommy" I want to barf. I do however LOVE to spend time with my friends babies and love to watch them grow even if it is a little sad. I am so happy for them and glad to have friends I can talk about health drama with.

So I am going to the OBGYN for more info on my fibroid and probably just more guessing and more waiting. Keep your fingers crossed for me. Or...say a little prayer. That might work better. :)

I used to...

So in light of my 27th birthday. I know...so old. I thought I would list some things that have changed over the years.

I used to...love flying and now I am scared to death of it.
I used to...hates dogs and love cats and now I only want dogs the rest of my life.
I used to...be boy crazy and now I am just obsessed with one. :)
I used to...want to work in a jelly bean factory (as a kid of course) and now I wish I had my own business.
I used to...fix my hair and makeup b4 I would ever dare leave the house and now I will go to the store in my Pjammies. (that's what I call them, don't laugh)
I used to...throw a lot of food away but now I give it the hubby for leftovers. He swears he likes it.
I used to...like to read and now I am asleep in 30 seconds everytime I try.
I used to...think the world was a happy place and now I try not to watch the depressing news.
I used to...cry if my mom tried to get me to say hi to someone I didn't know and now I try to greet everyone new at church.
I used to...clean my mom's house for $8 an hour and now I have to clean my own for free. :(
I used to....draw a lot and now I craft anything under the sun.
I used to...spend hours on the phone with friends and now I much prefer texting.

So I keep thinking of a lot of things I used to be/think/do but they haven't changed. :)

Adventures in Babysitting.

So my friend asked me if I could watch her 2 year old. I instantly thought about the trauma this would bring to my chihuahua Percy. Percy loves just about everybody but if I had to be honest I would have to say he HATES kids on bikes, strollers, helmets/hats of any kind and the person who is wearing it (including Justin), and toddlers. Babies are ok. They aren't as quick as a toddler. How could I say no though? Not gonna say no...but need a solution to the problem. I know...take the toddler away from the chihuahua and find SUPER FUN activities to last the entire time. 6 hours. Now there's a challenge.

Little Evelyn arrived just after 3 and we waited at home for Justin to get off work. First we sat and watched cartoons. My jaw dropped to the floor during Tom and Jerry when Jerry uses a bra as a parachute and when the air puffs up the bra cups it suddenly has nipples too. What the junk?? These cartoons are too old for that! While we were watching cartoons I got up to get a drink. What does Percy do? He gets up and scoots over to Evelyn and lays back down. What?? Did she have a treat in her pocket or something? Nope. He just was seemingly ok with her. My little son is growing up. *sigh*.

Since the cartoons stunk we went outside. Less things for a 2 year old to break out there. (I know. I'm paranoid but with no kids and a dog the size of a toy I don't exactly have reason to kid proof my house) While outside we swung in the hammock. After I showed her how I was NOT allowed back in. She however was, and got a kick out of being rocked and switching laying down/sitting up positions every 30 seconds. After she hopped down she picked up a stick. I couldn't quite tell what she was saying about the stick but I could tell she was excited and thought "Hey, I could use this to my advantage." We then proceeded to pick up all the sticks from the storm and put them into the "stick" pile behind the house. Nice. Then we played a sort of hop scotch game on the stones leading to the front door. Percy even joined in. No joke. It was hilarious.

Shortly after that Justin arrived home and we all headed to the water park. Slight delay on buckling her in the car seat but no worries, she showed me how. We got to the water park on base and she screamed "water" so we thought she was pumped. I think the water might have been a little cold because she was def. more interested in things like standing on the benches, writing in the sand with a stick and picking up bees. We shot the last idea down in a hurry. Justin ran around saying "Evelyn look" every 20 seconds but only got a reaction every...oh I don't know...10 minutes. She was def. in her own little world.

So on to the park...which looks more like a wooden castle than a play set. I'm glad some worthy playgrounds still exist. We pretended to be boat captains, we yelled "hello" up and down the curvy slides, we tapped on some bells and tried out multiple swings. It was overall a success. Getting ready for Mcdonalds and changing out of our swimming suit was less of a success. Let's just say it involved locking me out of a bathroom stall, touching everything in the bathroom with her little hands and almost running out of the place naked. But, the end result was a fully clothed 2 year old with REALLY clean hands. What more could you ask for?

After the park we headed to Mcdonalds. Evelyn almost fell asleep in the car. She's getting tired. Score. I asked Justin if he wanted to take her straight back to the play area or come order food with us. He wanted to order food but after her suggesting in so many ways that they were in the wrong place, he conceeded and headed to the back. It took some coaxing to get her to eat and play later when the food arrived. Which was even funnier when a little boy her age yelled "coming!" as soon as his mom yelled "dinner." Justin said boys always come running for dinner. After dinner and more playing we took her outside to see Ronald Mcdonald which apparently was amazing because she crawled right up into his lap and 15 minutes later we had to tell her it was time to go. We woulda stayed longer (who can argue with a child that's sitting still) only her mom was coming to pick her up.

Overall, I would say it was a huge success. Percy made a friend, Justin got to play at a water park that is otherwise only reserved for kids. I got to explore a wooden castle and feel like a kid all over again, and Evelyn fell in love with Ronald Mcdonald. Good times.

I'll always remember that 12 X 12 = 144,000

So while we were at the Dollar Store, Justin sees these multiplication flash cards. He thinks, "hey it would be good to freshen up on those" and he buys a pack.

One night he is sitting by the computer and the cards are next to him. The card on top is 12x12. I grab it, hold it up and ask him the answer. He says, "that one's easy." In my head I am assuming he is going to do some 2x2 something or other and come up with some weird way of remembering it. Nope. You know what he says?? Do you want to know?? You will NEVER guess.

So he says, "In Revelation it mentions the 12 tribes of Israel and that 12,000 people from each tribe are thought to go to Heaven and that's where some people get the 144,000 people in Heaven crap."

Priceless.

Why I should never go to the beach alone

I planned to go to the beach yesterday with Amanda and 3 year old Alex (who loves me by the way. I guess last week they asked Alex what he wanted to do that day and he said "go to the beach with rowe." That's toddler talk for Rose. None of them can say it.) So I am up getting ready for the beach and text Amanda when does she want to meet me but then get a phone call that she is sick. Snap. So I could have at this point decided not to go to the beach but once I make a plan I just have to follow it. I was craving the sun and the sun was what I was gonna get!

So after making several pit stops, the most important being CVS to get multiple magazines (In Style, food Networks and family circle cause it was 2 bucks.) and face sunscreen (I'm still holding to the theory that someone stole mine, I didn't lose it) I made my way to the military beach. As always, I brought too much stuff with me. It totally hurt trying to lug it all down to the sand but I am a one trip kinda girl and managed it, managed the start of a headache at the same time. *sigh*.

So I make up my little "area," sunscreen all I can reach (*note to self, don't lay on stomach or back will burn) and I sit down. Not 2 seconds later a seagull joins me. You heard me. Since when did they like to be that close? We played the staring game for...oh I don't know...3 minutes until he realized that I didn't have anything (so he thought) and he went on to pester someone else. At the time I was thinking he was kinda cute and I was glad he wasn't scared of me. I was thinking that until I got my crackers out. It was 11:30 and I was hungry. I have the right to eat my lunch. So 1 bird became 50 birds even though I wasn't feeding them. They all watched me eat my crackers and then I dropped a little piece. *insert scary music here* I'm glad I haven't seen Alfred Hitchcock's movie about BIRDS 'cause that definetly would have changed the dynamics of the situation. Back to the cracker piece...so I drop this cracker piece and it lands right next to the chair. So close in fact that I have to lean a little to the right to even see it. Surely no bird will get that close. Oh but one does. It wasn't even a seagull. It was a little bird. The kind that scurry around the beach w/their legs criss crossing a million miles a minute. He tried to get my cracker but it was too big. Then the seagulls started puffing up behind him like they were all bad and gonna get him if he stole their cracker. So I get up with my magazine and start waving off all the birds. I think I even hissed once. I think that's more for cats but whatever.

I put my crackers away. No more birds. Got my coke out. Birds back. Put it away. No more birds. Got my coke back out. Birds back. Put it away. No more birds. You get the idea. Anytime I touched that stinkin bag my little bird friends swung by for a visit. It wouldn't have been so bad if they would have simply stood in front of me. But they would fly over me. Of course I think one is surely going to poop on my head. I stood up once and almost collided with one. So I repeated my magazine waving and hissing every 5 minutes or so.

So while all this is happening I run out of coke and start to get thirsty. No problem. I brought a huge ace water bottle. I get it out of my bag. Hello birds. I try to open it and it won't budge. I get my tank top out and put it over the lid to help. Nada. So I give up and put it back in my bag. Bye birds. So the more thirsty I got the more determined I was to get that bottle open. I think I got it out of my bag like 10 times and put it back in again 10 times. I don't know. I lost count. Ask the birds. Then, this dad and his 2 girls approach me and say they will trade me taking a picture of him and his girls for an open water bottle. Score! He opens it no problem. Hmpfh. I take 2 pictures. 2nd for good measure and then he asks me. "so are you with the coast gaurd." What part of my pink towel, pink striped chair, and the inability to open my water bottle says coast gaurd to him?? Neat.

Back to my "area" to finish my food network magazine. I am staring at the pages but thinking about how to kill a seagull and realize that's my cue to leave. I pack up my stuff. Make one trip back to the car and head to Destin to do some shopping. Indoors. Where there are no seagulls and I where I can order a water with a straw.

**Hostess Cupcakes**

So I think I could honestly say my favorite vending machine snack is Hostess Cupcakes. I eye them everytime we are at the grocery store but convince myself that is just crossing the line. The other day I bought some. At the store they come in a 12 pack. Much to my dismay...they were going to expire like a week after I bought them. Those things have a LONG shelf life so these were OLD. They tasted old too. They were all dried out and the chocolate didn't so much taste like chocolate anymore. Maybe the kid in me liked them and they always tasted this way. Regardless, they were gross.

So yesterday I decided it was finally time to make some homemade hostess cupcakes like I have seen on Beantown Baker's blog. I went shopping for my supplies. Tweaking them a little bit. I can't make chocolate cake without making "dark" chocolate cake. Yum! I had 2 options for the filling. Make a 7 minute frosting or buy a jar of marshamallow fluff. I have never had marshmallow fluff and it sounded amazing but I opted for the homemade instead. Everything is always better homemade isn't it? It was the most amazing frosting I have ever tasted. I actually tasted like vanilla marshmallow fluff (granted I have never had marshmallow fluff, but I can only imagine).

Everything went off without a hitch, minus having to get the huge orange extension cord out to be able to mix at the stove. I hate my kitchen. The cupcakes were cooked just right. Carving out the middles was easy peasy. The frostings were amazing. I had 5 eggs in the fridge, exactly the amount I needed. *whew*

Laurel and I decided that we should get together and bake more. Fun! What will be next...she mentioned peanut butter chocolate cupcakes. What could be better?